


Worth It

by jujus_writing_corner



Series: Whumptober 2020 [12]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Youtube RPF
Genre: Apologies, Crying, Gen, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Whumptober 2020, references to past violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujus_writing_corner/pseuds/jujus_writing_corner
Summary: A week has passed since Plus healed from being shot, a week since Google was forced to pick him to die. It's time to clear the air between them, but Google finds he doesn't understand the situation as well as he thinks he does.Whumptober 2020 Day 12: I Think I've Broken SomethingPrompt: Broken Trust
Relationships: Googleplier & Google Green
Series: Whumptober 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947961
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't not continue this plot thread, the boys need to fix their relationship ;w; Poor Greenie, I promise I love him ;;;w;;;
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s been a week since Plus fully recovered from being shot in the head. In that time, he’s been mostly okay. Oliver and Chrome are being gentle with him, Dr. Iplier had the kindness to hang out with him for a while and talk, and Google has been keeping a close eye on him. With that close eye, Google has seen Plus spending amicable time playing video games and working on small projects with Oliver and Chrome. It’s clear he enjoys their company, and he smiles and laughs around them like he did before.

Google knows, though, that Plus is not fully okay. He may smile and laugh, but he’s still more quiet than usual. He may work on projects, but he gets easily distracted and often stares into space doing no work at all. He may play video games, but he makes simple mistakes and can’t win unless the others let him. Most tellingly, he avoids Google. Google hasn’t gotten a chance to interact with him since he healed; Plus keeps leaving the room and refusing to meet his gaze. Google hates it, but he understands.

How couldn’t he? He was the one who sentenced Plus to die. Just because he survived doesn’t meant the memory doesn’t still hurt just as much as the bullet. It’s obvious that Plus hasn’t gotten past that hurt yet. Google knows he has to talk to him, clear the air, try and figure out how to move forward.

But his database has no information on how to apologize for picking your brother to die. And Google, highly-intelligent android that he is, has finally met a problem he cannot easily think his way out of. And it’s not just that it’s difficult to find a solution, it’s not just that Plus won’t speak to him. It’s that this problem is, fundamentally, human. Google has to apologize for doing something terrible but necessary to someone he loves. There is nothing objective about it.

And Google _is_ sorry. He’s so sorry for letting Plus get hurt, so sorry for choosing him. But it’s not like he had a choice. It was going to be someone, it could’ve easily been Chrome. Plus can’t be mad at Google for making the best call he could…but he can, and he has a right to be. Contradicting thoughts swirl around Google’s mind, and he can’t control any of it. He just needs to talk to Plus, he has to, even if he doesn’t know what to say, even if Plus doesn’t want to hear from him.

One day, Google and Plus are the only ones in the control room. Plus is working on something – rather, he was, but now he’s staring into the distance again. Google has just finished charging, and he seizes the opportunity for conversation.

“Plus,” he begins.

Plus comes out of his daze to look away from Google. He doesn’t leave the room, though; it seems he understands that he can’t avoid Google forever.

“Plus,” Google says again, trying to find words, “I’m…sorry for what happened. I’m sorry you were hurt.”

Plus stays silent, stays bent over his project. Google realizes that he’s not going to speak yet, and that Google has to find something else to say. He sighs.

“You know I didn’t have a choice, don’t you?” Google says, “I stalled as long as I could, but I had to choose someone. If I had let them finish counting down, they probably would’ve shot all three of you, all in a row, and I don’t know that I could’ve fixed all of you on my own.”

Plus closes his eyes briefly before slowly straightening up, finally meeting Google’s eyes for the first time in a week. His eyes are just a little teary.

“Why was it me?” he asks.

“What?” Google asks in return, confused.

“Why was it _me?”_ Plus repeats, “Why was I the one you chose?”

“Plus, it wasn’t–”

“I know you chose Oliver to be spared.” Plus grins a little, not bitter but still insincere. “We all know Ollie’s your favorite, and that’s fine. We all have a favorite brother. But a favorite brother means a least favorite brother. Is that me? Is that why it was me you chose?”

“No!” Google steps forward, rushing to defend himself, “Look, I’ll admit to Oliver being my favorite. But you and Chrome are equal to me. I love all three of you. Why do you think it was so hard for me to choose?”

“But you chose.” Plus’s eyes are starting to glow neon green in distress. “You chose _me.”_

“I had to!” Google exclaims, angry now, “I had to choose one of you or you all would’ve _died,_ Plus! I knew there was a chance you could survive, I knew you’d all be shot if I didn’t act. It was between you and Chrome, and you know what I did? I used a fucking _coin flip_ generator. It was the only way I could possibly have ever made that choice. Why do you think I went out of my way to choose you!?”

Plus looks down, takes a step back. Google’s chest tightens; he shouldn’t have yelled like that. But he couldn’t help but get angry, can’t help but _be_ angry. He thought Plus, his always-analytical brother, would find fault in Google’s method, claim there was another way. But Plus knows what Google had to do, he knows Google had to choose _someone,_ so where are his feelings coming from?

It’s many moments before Plus looks up again. His eyes are even more wet than before, even brighter green.

“Remember a long time ago,” Plus says quietly, “When we were captured by those people who wanted to sell us for parts? And how you and the others escaped before I did?”

“Yes…” Google says slowly. He does remember. He remembers making the choice to leave Plus behind for the moment, as much as he didn’t want to. He remembers recovering at Ego Inc., planning how to break Plus out the whole time. He remembers breaking back in with Chrome and Oliver, searching the building, afraid they were too late and that Plus had already been sold. He remembers finally finding Plus, freeing him, taking him home and fixing him. He remembers how awful it felt to be apart from Plus, how relieving it was to have him back safe.

But by the look on Plus’s face, he seems to remember it differently.

“You guys had to recover for a few days so you could come back for me,” Plus murmurs, “And I should’ve known that, but I just…all I knew for sure was that you’d all escaped and left me behind. And it’s not I don’t…don’t get it, a little bit.”

“Plus…”

“I’m not…” Plus sighs shakily. A few tears leak out. “I’m not that unique, compared to the rest of you. I’m not really sweet and gentle like Oliver, I’m not really aggressive and violent like Chrome, I’m not an experienced leader like you. I’m just…I’m superfluous to you all. You could easily just be a trio. I’m just the extra. And then this happened, where you had a chance to make that trio happen, and…” More tears escape. “You took it, like I was afraid you would, but I knew it, why wouldn’t it be me? Why wouldn’t it be me?”

“Plus,” Google gasps, core stuttering in his chest. He puts a hand to Plus’s cheek, fingers gentle, catching tears. “Greenie, how long have you felt that way about yourself? About us? Since we were captured that time, or before that?”

Plus struggles to meet Google’s eyes with his own bright green ones. He can only manage it for a few moments before he bursts into tears. Google hugs him immediately, holding him tight, stroking his hair.

“I didn’t know,” Google murmurs, and he hates that he didn’t know, hates that his advanced mind couldn’t figure it out. “I didn’t know you felt like that. I…I remember you said something about it back then, how you thought we might’ve abandoned you, but I never…I thought it was the stress talking, the damage you’d taken from those people talking. Afterwards you were okay, so I didn’t…but you weren’t okay, were you? And now this…Plus, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. ”

Plus just cries, face buried in Google’s chest, hands clinging desperately to his back, and it rips right through Google’s core, keener than any bullet.

“Plus, I chose you because I felt that I had to,” Google tells him, “I felt I had to choose someone, and I couldn’t choose between you and Chrome. I found a coin flip generator, it said to choose you, so I did. I knew I couldn’t think about it, I couldn’t try and decide if that was the right choice. There was no time, and if I thought too hard about it, I wouldn’t have been able to choose at all, and I would’ve lost you all. And before, when we were captured and three of us escaped…Plus, that choice hurt me just as much. But I knew I had to make it, because we were all hurt, and if we tried to find you and break you free we would’ve been caught again. That might have been our only chance to escape, and I felt I couldn’t risk it. Those days without you were unbearable, we all thought so. I was so worried for you, I was afraid that we’d go back to find you and you wouldn’t be there, that you’d be sold already. Finding you still there, still alive, was the biggest relief I’d felt in a long time.”

Plus’s tears finally start to slow, though he’s very much still crying. Google stops stroking his hair to cup the back of his neck, protectively holding Plus against himself. Protection from what, Google isn’t sure, but it feels right to do.

“When things go wrong, and I have to make hard decisions,” Google continues, “I have to do it with all of us in mind. Maybe I’m not…not the best at it, because it’s new to me, still, having more than just myself to look out for. But I love all three of you, and I have to make decisions to help as many of you as possible. I have to choose the many over the one, and I’m sorry you keep being the one. I’m sorry you keep getting left behind, Plus.”

“I-I get it,” Plus sniffles.

“No, Plus,” Google cuts him off, squeezes him tighter, “It’s not because I love you less. It’s not because you aren’t special or important to me.” He releases him enough to look him in the eyes again, to cup his cheeks and wipe away tears. “You’re so much like me, have you ever noticed that? You’re more like me than Oliver or Chrome, and I love you for it. Even when you were new, even when I was still warming up to the idea of having the three of you around, I felt like I knew you. I felt like I could understand you. Maybe that’s why I _don’t_ understand you as well as I thought I did; I took it for granted that I knew you. But you’re still so much like me. You always think things through, you’re so good at being impartial and making good decisions. And the majority of the time, you’re great at staying calm in a crisis.”

Plus snorts through his tears, and Google can’t help but smile in response.

“I’m serious,” he continues, “Even the slightest trouble makes Oliver hysterical, and Chrome gets angry at everything. But you’re like me, you stay calm. You’re so much like me that I forget what makes you different.” He presses his forehead against Plus’s. “I forget that you’re younger, that you have more heart than I do, that you aren’t jaded and cynical like I am. And I don’t take good enough care of you, I don’t make you feel loved enough. That’s a problem with me, not with you, and I’m so sorry you ever thought the opposite.”

Plus stares back at Google with big wet eyes. But he’s nearly out of tears, and his eyes are starting to dim back to their normal color.

“It’s not like I talked about feeling left out or useless,” Plus admits, “You aren’t a mind reader, Google.”

“Then don’t be afraid to talk about it, alright?” Google asks, “Please let me know when you’re hurting, okay? I’m not letting you suffer in silence anymore.”

Plus smiles. He hugs Google, and Google hugs back.

“I’ll try to,” Plus says quietly, “Thank you, Blue.”

“Of course, Greenie.” Google presses a kiss into Plus’s hair. “You’re my brother, and I do love you. Whatever happens, don’t ever forget that I love you.”

Plus doesn’t answer – maybe he’s afraid he’ll cry again – but he stays holding onto Google, and Google doesn’t let him go for many moments after.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment! They absolutely make my day :'3


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